Tet

It is coming up to Tet, the Lunar New Yearm in Hanoi, and the atmosphere is like you get before Christmas in England - anticipation and celebration. Someone has hung red Chinese lanterns all down my street, and the majority of shops seem to be overflowing with red and gold, selling firework, incense, streamers, and I don't know what else. The Vietnamese are very superstitiuous, and how you start the new year sets the tone for the coming year. My friend Linh is freaking out because they're renovating their house, and they HAVE to get it finished before Tet. My Vietnamese teacher told me not to spend the new year with my boyfriend's family, because my zodiac sign is incompatible with his mum's (snakes eat roosters), and I'd bring them bad luck. My Vietnamese teacher is one of the most overdramatic people I've ever met.

Also, everywhere is selling Banh Chung, the traditional New Year food which I can only translate as Chung Cake. It is a square cake of sticky rice, filled with bean paste and pork.

thanks be to google

The first time I tried some, I thought it was fucking disgusting. I didn't know it was going to be savoury, and I didn't know it was supposed to be cooked. Salty, clammy rice with an unexpected fatty pork surprise in the middle is quite different to the Christmas-esque cake I was expecting. But I tried it again on the street yesterday, and I'm glad I did - hot and crunchy on the outside, sticky in the middle. Plus everything tastes better when you're sitting on a 10cm high plastic stool. I still didn't eat the fatty pork surprise.

it looked a bit like this except everyone was wearing shiny puffer jackets

The other ubiquitous new year treat...dog. Spotted around town at the end of every month, as it is supposed to make you stronger and more virile, the piles are definitely higher and more frequent at the end of the year. A part of me wants to try it (the aspiring I'm-so-open-minded, I'd-try-anything-once part of me), and I came pretty close when all my friends were eating it, but then the smell got up my nose, and I knew if it went in my mouth I would gag and feel ill for the rest of the day, and have flashbacks for the rest of my life. It is to my disappointment that the ex-vegan, puppy-hugging part of me is more dominant than the open-minded part.

...elsa?!

here some men eat some dog, and feel their sperm count rise

My plans for Tet? THAILAND, with my two small children, Nolly and Goob.