I have literally never felt less festive in the festive season; this is a wholly good thing. Goodwill to all men isn't my scene. But I have taken a week off work to do not much, as follows. Hopefully might add some pictures later.
After a lush weekend staying in the 5* Sofitel in Hanoi, I'm in beautiful Hoi An with my family. At the Sofitel I swam in the pool, swanned around, used their gym, swanned around some more, and drank a lot of gin and tonics, like I deserved to be there or something. Rad.
Hoi An is really pretty, and quieter than Hanoi. The countryside is beautiful and peaceful, with cows, I like cows. Our hotel is lush, it's kind of stone-clad and all that, clean. The pool is freezing, I like freezing swimming pools because it makes me feel like I'm in the SAS when I swim in them. Same with running in hail storms.
The centre of Hoi An is rammed full of tailor shops and people trying to sell you stuff, which is fine when you want something tailored but after that becomes very annoying. I want to run through doing the punchy-dance to make them leave me alone. After that ordeal I had to go on a long walk. I tried and failed to find the beach, but instead wandered across some rice paddies where there were no people: deceptively mulchy yet fulfilling. Then I sat on the ground next to a quiet road and read Stephen Fry's autobiography and drank wine from the bottle. There was a cow and a dog. I prefer doing that when I'm on holiday. In fact, I can't imagine anyone comes on holiday to get hassled by touts, or buy tacky bracelets, or overpriced bottles of Coke. Yet when a place becomes touristy and developed that's precisely what happens - it becomes less like the sort of place you'd want to visit. My parents seem to think my repulsion from having tat rammed in my face is illogical though, so whatever.
Oh but I'm getting boots made, boots with dragons on, DRAGON BOOTS, BOOTS FOR FIGHTING DRAGONS, BOOTS WITH SPECIAL DRAGON POWERS LIKE FLYING AND FIRE AND STUFF. I shall report back tomorrow on the quality of the fit and the intensity of the dragons.
I've realised I'm only writing so much to put off going to bed, so I shall stop babbling now. But Josh has such snuffly breath! A snuffler like I have never heard. Perhaps I'll sleep by the pool, with the mosquitos for company. They don't have snuffly breath.
